People think my house is perfect because I am an Interior Designer…. NO!!! Sorry to disappoint you, but most of the time my house looks like I recently moved in. I feel under so much pressure to present this picture perfect home every time someone visits my house unexpectedly. If you know me well, you would know that I would much rather drink a glass of wine on the terrace than sweeping the floors or dusting.
We live in a gated community, so from the moment that my guests ring the bell at the gate, until they arrive at my front door, it takes approximately 60 seconds. That’s not enough time to clean your house… (Not that I haven’t tried several times before!) So the next big thing is to hide the mess. Again, 60 seconds is just not enough time to hide it all. So finally I came to the conclusion that the best way to instantly clean your house, is to rather create false, believable excuses why it’s not clean. Here we go:
1. GET WELL SOON CARDS
If you don’t have any real ones, make your own with lovely $1 cards from your local news agency. A lovely little DIY project over a cup of coffee. When your doorbell rings, grab them out of the drawer and display them prominently for your guests to see. Don’t forget to imitate a cough and constantly rub tissues under your nose.
2. TEA TOWEL OVER THE SHOULDER
The old faithful one most of us know. Yep, grab a tea towel, drape it over your shoulder, and with a bottle of floor tiler in your one hand and liquid soap in the other, open the front door and say: “Oh sorry, it’s house cleaning day, but you’re welcome to come in.” Elaborate on how you are moving things around, sorting out cupboards and cleaning. You might even sound like superwoman! You get bonus points if you have time to put on an apron too.
3. BANDAGE YOUR ARM
We all have a cupboard close to the front door. Keep a bandage and safety pin in there. Before you open the door, quickly bandage your hand. With practice it takes less than 20 seconds. With lots of practice, you can do both hands! What better excuse not to be able to clean house?
4. LEFTOVERS ON THE FLOOR
Let me warn you, this one is daring & a bit disgusting… Okay, so we all have those plates in the fridge with leftover food. The ones we should have thrown away yesterday. So if the doorbell rings, drop the plate (just the food!) close to the front door. When your guests open the door, tell them to stay as far away from your house as possible as one of the kids or the dog might have a virus. Someone in the house is nauseous… Let me tell you, all your guests will scatter home and nobody needs to see the rest of your house! (I told you this one is a bit disgusting.)
I guess you will now be either annoyed about these suggestions of false excuses, or very excited for all this inspiring information!
Come on, be honest, what are YOUR false excuses when you get unexpected guests and your house is very untidy?